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Showing posts from September, 2014

Reflections on the Traveller’s Spirit

The Autumn Equinox marks the beginning of shorter days and longer nights.  It is the time of harvest and reflection on this journey that we collectively and individually travel. This is also a time of reflection, and second chances.  I ask myself where I am going, and reaffirm my true intentions.  I check back with my vision and passion and reconnect with my own “earth” to ground myself.  I love the season of fall because it is a chance to step back and take stock.   Where am I going? What is my true intention?How do I affect others in my travels, in the things that I do, and my behaviours. Am I a taker or a giver?  Do I give more than I take?Is what I am doing of worth to someone besides me?Is what I am doing feeding my creativity?  Am I where I should be, or is it time to move on? I am a traveller as are we all.  I am always looking down the road and wondering what’s out there. I believe the present is just that, and the future is possibility.  I believe that envisioning the future i…

Who I am: I am a Creep

I rediscovered this song yesterday. Creep, by the Pretenders  Originally by RadioHead 
Creep
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out the door
She's running out
She runs runs runs runs..
Runs...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

(Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/radiohead/creep.html…

Who I am: My name is mother.

Today I was driving into downtown Vancouver, looking up at the apartments in the sky. I imagine myself living in an apartment in the sky.  I envision a life of living downtown, walking for coffee, shopping and being anonymous.  I imagine this life as if it was the life I have yet to live. The one that I forwent many years ago for love and family.

I remember when we got married, my brother in law warned my husband that I was the kind of person who would someday leave to find myself.  I never understood that comment, but on the other hand, I have never really felt like I am where I am supposed to be.  I have always felt like an impostor no matter the ‘job’ of the day.  
Most days I wonder who I am. Correction. I wonder all the time who I am.  I think the source of this wonderment is the fact that I am a mother, and I have built a life of servitude and self-sacrifice for my children. A nameless person with a title, a role, a purpose to fulfill.  This was reaffirmed this week when many t…

Who I am

I created the Flamingo Project on the first day of my emancipation in June 2011.  On that day, I wore gold shoes as one should.  Since then, I have created a new life and a new career as the publisher of a lifestyle magazine, a business consultant and a yoga teacher.  It wasn’t  easy, but it was worth it.

Over the last week, I have written and produced the fall issue of SKY Magazine with the help of my designer and photographer, while attending Vancouver Fashion Week as a sponsor and a media VIP.

As the publisher and owner of SKY  Magazine, I sponsored the Sara Armstrong collection, along with other businesses including Family Management, a Vancouver modelling company, LA Larson & Associates, an accounting firm located in Abbotsford, Kensington Prairie Farms, an enterprise that raises Alpacas and sells products.

On the night of Sara’s show, I was seated at the end of the runway among the photographers, thanks to the graciousness of Vancouver Fashion Week organizers and the (othe…

The Woman Wound Unwound

I have been married for 33 years, and my work life has been successful. However, there is something deep down inside that I have struggled with since my first memory, and that’s self esteem and self worth. Are we born with this or do we acquire it?  Is it nature or nurture? The fact is, everyone has an insecurity.  Some are just better at masking it than others. 
A recent article on Elephant Journal shares a woman’s journey. The author, Kara Leah-Grant, says the “Mother-Wound” is the source of this feeling of inadequacy. She describes the Mother Wound has having the following four characteristics: 

Comparison: not feeling good enough; Shame: consistent background sense that there is something wrong with you; Attenuation: Feeling you must remain small in order to be loved; and Persistent sense of guilt for wanting more than you currently have. 
Stop.  Before you begin saying, ‘I have felt all those things at one time or another so I must have the Mother Wound’,  in the name of logic, stop…