Who I am

I created the Flamingo Project on the first day of my emancipation in June 2011.  On that day, I wore gold shoes as one should.  Since then, I have created a new life and a new career as the publisher of a lifestyle magazine, a business consultant and a yoga teacher.  It wasn’t  easy, but it was worth it.

Over the last week, I have written and produced the fall issue of SKY Magazine with the help of my designer and photographer, while attending Vancouver Fashion Week as a sponsor and a media VIP.

As the publisher and owner of SKY  Magazine, I sponsored the Sara Armstrong collection, along with other businesses including Family Management, a Vancouver modelling company, LA Larson & Associates, an accounting firm located in Abbotsford, Kensington Prairie Farms, an enterprise that raises Alpacas and sells products.

On the night of Sara’s show, I was seated at the end of the runway among the photographers, thanks to the graciousness of Vancouver Fashion Week organizers and the (other) media. On the closing night of Vancouver Fashion Week, I was seated on the runway to take photos.  I realized how much my life has changed in just three years.

I have moved forward, but I still look back sometimes. Not with regret or anger, like I used to, but with interest.  I created the Flamingo Project for the purpose of telling this story and ultimately freeing myself from the devastating impact of a single careless, thoughtless, bully.  The book that is about to the published - How to be a Pink Flamingo in a Brown Duck Pond - begins with the question, ‘Who do I think I am?’

If you have been reading my blogs, you night know that three years ago, I had left my corporate career helping large companies climb the hill of vision.  In my book, How to be a Pink Flamingo in a Brown Duck Pond, I describe it as “the day I fell from the sky and began to fade to white.”  That day and the days to follow are among the most difficult days of my life, because, quite simply, it was personally devastating both personally and professionally.

But on that day, I came to the realization that I could no longer endure the punishment of that life, and that last incident was not the first abuse that I encountered in my work life, but it was the last. On that day, I backed out of my parking stall, and I never, ever, ever went back.

Freeing myself was not easy.  It took months, and then up to two years before I would no longer wince at the thought of that last experience that caused me to fall from the sky, and fade to white.

Eventually I was to rebuild myself and my life.  In fact, fate would have it no other way.  Every time I tried to step back into the corporate world, I would find myself suspiciously under or over qualified for jobs that I had been doing for over 20 years very successfully.  I believe that I was blacklisted in my community.  But something else happened too. I was changed, as I was no longer able to tolerate the dysfunction that tends to be prevalent in corporate structures.   I was sought out for such jobs in other provinces as well, but ultimately I did not want those jobs because the environments were just as poisonous as the one I left.

I believe that organizations led by poor leaders are more numerous than those that are not.  I don’t think it’s intentional, but I do think it’s systemic. I believe that bullies are narcissists - poorly socialized individuals with low emotional intelligence, and that they should be relegated to the storage room to be in charge of counting pens and pencils, with no human contact, and certainly no leadership responsibilities, because of course, they cannot ever be leaders.

I have dedicated my professional practices both as a business consultant and a magazine publisher  to working with people who do good things. That means exercising good business practices, treating people well, being competitively intelligent without being ruthless.  Those are my rules, and there is not enough money in the world to cause me to compromise. I did that once for money, and it didn’t work out.

I am not who I used to be.  I was that someone who worked day and night just to prove my work in the eyes of people not deserving; someone who missed parts of my personal life for work because I felt I was so important to ‘them’, that the work was crucial enough to trade for time with my family and take care of my health; someone who never felt good enough and traded my own self worth for a pay cheque.

I  used to be someone that I do no longer recognize. She is gone, thankfully. All those years in the corporate world were not all bad.  I had some great mentors who took me under their wings, and I owe a great debt of gratitude to these women.  So now I have the opportunity to use my abilities to help and mentor people to be successful. And when I encounter people who hurt others, they will never be part of my life or business. I hate that this topic colours my life, but now I see it as a giant push in another direction, and I am grateful that I had the tools and the support to overcome.