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Showing posts from July, 2013

Changing the Colour of the SKY in my World - Book Summary

I can't explain it really. I have been feeling a little defiant lately. I think this condition has existed for the past 51 years.  I was born with this affliction of thinking for myself.  I have trouble with the word no, and I don't like those who would try to control me. Ask my mother who has tried unsuccessfully over my life. Ask my principal who once said I would never be more than a C student. 
I believe that defiance is healthy and natural and in fact, I aspire to it. In my office, a sign says, "Be defiant 3 times a day."
And so when I receive this kind of advice, words come to mind that are   . . . not nice, but I don't curse on my blog. Let's just say the word, "no" comes to mind immediately. 
"On that day, I fell from the sky and began to fade to white."  
I have been on a journey that literally rocked my world and changed my life, both personally and professionally. The experience initially stripped me of my voice, my self confid…

Book 1 and The Darkness of Day

About a year ago, I started to write Book 1 of "How to be a Pink Flamingo in a Brown Duck Pond".  The book is about the day I fell from the sky and began to fade to white, and how I learned to fly again.

I wrote 22 drafts of the text in the 3rd person in an effort to distance myself from the story and create a safe environment for me to tell this story. On the 23rd draft, I switched to the first person and 4 drafts later, I handed 'Book 1'  over for legal review.

I knew there would be risk in telling this story, because there is a system that prevents these stories from being shared, and my story flies in the face of that system.

Bullying is getting a lot of attention in the media, but workplace bullying is quite silent because it tends to be kept behind closed doors. Progressive organizations with constructive cultures likely have safeguards in place to protect people at work. But not all organizations are progressive, and those cultures that are not constructive a…

To be seen or to be the seer.

I had a visit with my lawyer concerning a project that is near and dear to my heart and my very well being.  Without going into details, suffice it to say he feels that I am at risk.  That my well being is at risk if I proceed.

No sooner had I left that conversation and another one came to me on the topic of bullying and standing up.  I couldn't help but think the universe is sending me a message, or at least a question.  This happens a lot.  The question is, why me.

The root of this question comes from an event that happened almost three years ago now.  It changed my life, for the better.  (I can say that now because I am on the other side.)

Life changing events are not always fun.  Childbirth is not fun, no matter what anyone says. School is not fun.  This event was the epoch of all events in my life so far, because it was the first time in my life that I felt afraid, and apparently with good reason.

Yesterday I attended my life-changing level 3 class with the Pirate Yoga King him…

`I am sorry`.

It surprises me how difficult it is to say three simple words: Ì am sorry. ` 
In my experience raising two daughters through the school years of school yard struggles, high school cliques, bad boyfriends and nasty jobs, I always believed that many things in life could be solved with a simple apology as long as there is an intention to do better. 
Saying these three simple words is an acknowledgement that something has happened that affected another person in a negative way. When someone saysI am sorrywe feel that our pain is acknowledged. 
Ironically, we often say these words when someone experiences the loss of a person, a pet or even a car.I am sorryis part of our vernacular.  When we accidentally bump into someone, or step on their toe, we sayI am sorry. 
But what about when it really matters - like when we treat someone carelessly and hurt them. Do we say it then, or do we not for fear of accountability. When and how did we become so careless with each other, I wonder. Has politics ov…

Inspire people and they will follow you. Measure them and they will measure you.

I am 32 colours and then some.  I am a pink flamingo living in a brown duck pond.

I was facilitating a board planning meeting for an organization of over $160 million with less than 50 employees.  The topic of performance management came up, or down more accurately.  It was a classic brown duck auditor question.

"How do you know you are making each person accountable if you are not drilling down the corporate measures to the individual?"
I am a former corporate planner with over 20 years experience implementing corporate planning and performance systems such as balanced scorecard, reporting, CEO performance and planning. I learned one simple lesson:  inspire people and they will follow you.  Measure people and they will measure you."

June 15, 2011 was my date of emancipation from that world.  No, I did not retire. I fired that part of my life because it did not measure up.  I realized it is fatally flawed and unhealthy.

Now that I am on the outside, I feel more alive…