There is a secret that we keep.

There is a secret that we keep, a secret that protects the guilty and hurts the victims.  I am talking about the bullying secret.  

I created the Flamingo Project originally to give voice to the secrets that hold us back from living the best life possible.

Bullying tends to happen between two people.
It is isolated and targeted. Very seldom do bullies publicly attack people except for when the practice of bullying has escaped to outright physical, emotional and mental violence.  Until such time as we see it, we tend to overlook the behaviour.

We do things like listen to them instead of telling them to stop. We make excuses for the behaviour, such as “he or she is just like that”, or “he or she has [insert excuse here].  On the outside bullies tend to be charismatic people but they may have narcissistic underbellies.

"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism. Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school.” 

Source:  Mayo Clinic http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568

Bullies need an audience, otherwise they have no power.  The best way to deal with a bully is to walk away, to send the message that “we” are not participating in any way in their activities and to tell someone about the incident. If the words we use behind closed doors and in emails were shared, we might think twice about condoning the small acts of bullying that might lead to the violence and other forms of physical, mental and emotional abuse.