The Winged Soul

My grandmother Anne Layton once wrote about being a firefly wherein she told the story of a journey over lands she had never been in her life but could only imagine.  In her time, she could not just google the image, like we can now.  

As she flew over mountains and valleys, her descriptions were vivid and detailed, including the pattern of the lights down below, and the shades of greens and browns that speckled the hill sides.  I always knew she loved to write. She was a member of the Writer's Guild. She wrote and produced plays and never stopped living, until one day.  

When she passed away at the age of 89, I was asked to deliver her eulogy, and that is how I discovered her firefly story.  I remember leading her Eulogy with her very words, "Come fly with me." 

As I told her story from her firefly perspective, it made it easier to accept that we would not see her again in this lifetime, and that she would have to live on in our memories. I remember saying, I can't imagine a world without her in it. I remember wishing I had spent more time with her, because in the end, there is never enough time.

Every time I write, I think about her.  I can't help but notice that I too have a fascination with winged beings.  I wonder if that day her spirit found its way inside of me through her words.  

My yoga and business practices are about learning to fly, as has been my life since February 11, 2011, when everything changed because I changed that day. 

I have a book that is in the process of being published, titled "Pink Flamingo in a Brown Duck Pond". It is difficult and terrifying, yet I feel compelled to do it. 

If I don't, it will be one of those regrets I will have.  I will never know what happened because of publishing the book.  I will never know if it had a impact on people, or if nobody really cared. I will never know if I ticked anyone off enough to sue me.  I will never know if another book followed it.  And so I continue.  

The cover is my most recent conundrum.  Do I go with the original book cover or do I go with something with less of me?  One of my daughters says less of me is better. Maybe she's embarrassed, or maybe she's afraid for me.  

So I search for the inspiration and the courage to continue. If my grandmother were alive, she would tell me to go for it. She would say to go with the glittery dress, because that's who she was too.  She would say, 'who cares what other people say.'

In my quest to find my wings (metaphorically speaking because I am not a bird really), my practice has been about warriors (fearlessness, courage, humility, compassion), binding (cleansing and opening), flying (vision), balancing (staying grounded)  and goal-less-ness (not being weighed down by ego or random stupidity.)  

This has been the focus of my yoga.  We have explored some of the greats including Padangusthasana, Heron Pose, Marichyasana, Bird Pose and Bird of Paradise. I can't wait to see what we do next, and I can't wait to see what my book cover becomes. 





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