Learning to Dance Again

I recently met a flamingo who has temporarily lost the will to dance. I found her afraid and lost, wandering and frustrated, trapped inside a cage of self -doubt and questioning.

She had been a successful flamingo. Her resume of accomplishments well documented and well supported.  She was a leader who led with compassion. She could create a vision and plans to get there.

She built her resume managing, maneuvering and navigating the ponds of the ruling duck-tators. She had become adept at managing the most caustic of environments, and in fact, flourishing and stepping up to the plate when her duck counterparts scattered for the weeds at the first sign of trouble.

The fact is, she is not alone. The burden of this stress weighs heavily upon many of us. We put all of our energy into making the business successful, to the death. In the throws of war, we don't realize that we are literally being consumed - eaten alive - by the situation.

Flamingos are not weak beings.  We do not scatter like our duck friends.

We are the people who make things happen by winning the support of others. So we are used to managing difficult situations, and in fact, we thrive in challenge.  Each time, we tell ourselves we can overcome and that everything will be alright. We are outgoing and gregarious, natural born leaders who know how to lead, organize and inspire.

We terrify the disorganized, the despots and the disengaged because we are their antitheses. Their nemesis. Flamingos are those to whom we go for advice and guidance because they create a safe environment, are good listeners, and can be trusted. Flamingos look after their flock and protect them from predators. Flamingos are non-confrontational beings. People love us because we tend to smooth ruffled feathers and make people feel good about themselves.

As is usually the case, our strength is our weakness, and so we persevere when perhaps we should fly.  When we stay too long, we lose our color and our zest. We begin to question and doubt the very essence of who we are and why we have always been successful . . . and we take responsibility for the failures of others because we took it upon ourselves to save them when we should have let them stand alone.

When we are in the throws of doing battle, our relationships suffer as does our health.  We stop finding enjoyment in the little things that used to make us smile, because conquerors don't smile. We lose our relationship with ourselves, and we abuse our bodies with bad food and other vices in search of relief. We smoke, and drink, eat bad food and tell ourselves we don't have time to eat well, or exercise. 

We do not scatter like our duck friends at the sound of trouble.  We fly differently. We need to take a running start before we fly, and when we take off, we can fly like none other.

The problem is, sometimes we stay to long on the runway, and we lose that which makes us strong - our ability to dance. But a flamingo is a flamingo and never shall be a duck.  And when we find the music once more, we party, a little wiser.